![]() ![]() You react unkindly, which provokes anger and starts an argument. But at breakfast, your spouse offhandedly says something you interpret as criticism. For example, you might resolve to be better to your spouse, and start the day with the best of intentions. Usually, we behave poorly because others are not nice to us. In short, for the sake of your own well-being, there are good reasons to try to be kind. The converse is true too: A recent review of the academic literature found that happier people act more prosocially. Research shows that being prosocial clearly raises happiness, more so than treating yourself. Some say, for example, that New Yorkers are kind but not nice (“Your tire is flat, you moron-hand me your jack”), in contrast to Californians, who are nice but not kind (“Looks like you’ve got a flat tire there-have a good day!”).ĭespite the traits’ practical differences, social scientists generally don’t separate niceness and kindness, but lump them together as “prosocial behavior.” The category includes such actions as helping others without solicitation or reward, donating to a charity, and giving someone a compliment. The former is to be good to others the latter is about being pleasant. K indness and niceness, though both excellent personal qualities, are not the same thing. ![]() ![]() Want to stay current with Arthur’s writing? Sign up to get an email every time a new column comes out. ![]()
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